Part I-Life Before IIT


  I usually bring out the best in me when I am emotionally distraught..But I have decided it was time to finally end this dry spell..I am referring to Blog Posts of course!..I always thought Writer's Block was just another excuse for novelists and others to be pretty damn lazy and still justify it.
As again i repeat that these are just things on top of my head..You have every right to comment and make your point known to the world.If you have any concerns or are offended by the content and want me to change the contents...well it is my blog again..I really don't see that happening..U know..Anyway.So..Now since that part is clear i can move on.


I would love to begin with A short story of a kid..Once upon a time there was a kid who lived in a small town.. He dreamed of space exploration.He would read books on outer space.Blackholes,Supernovas,Big bang theory..of course..Only Half of it made sense to the 7 year old kid..But still the excitement was way high to be contained..He loved books so much that he would spring at the chance of reading a new book..He dreamt like he was Superman and Batman.Superheroes ran amok in the child's mind (..and he pictured circumstances where he could show off his powers..).He would dream of Ferraris and Lamborghinis and how cool it would be to drive them..For the same reason he would play car games for tons of hours... He would have to wait a really long time before he could get his hands on a real roaring one!He never knew much about cricket because he never had the chance to get acquainted with it..There weren't many avenues for him to get acquainted with cricket(That statement itself would have made him at the receiving end of brickbats!!).It was something that had always bothered him, considering the larger than life role cricket has in the average Indian's life..It wasn't as if he hated the game..The issue was that he was never as crazy about it as he should have been as defined by the average indian pysche and he tried his best to blend in whenever a conversation about the previous days game cropped up cleverly avoiding questions with a nod and a look that portrayed the sad state of affairs of the indian cricket team at that time.(or that was what he thought it was..it worked well though)..The last thing he wanted was to be left out..Another thing he felt was weird was about his friends..Friends were like cricket for this schoolboy..He was ok with it.Just OK..At times he wondered whether this "friendship" was a tad overrated.He wondered if being best friends was a big deal after all..As he grew up he seemed to forget all his childhood dreams.Space Exploration remained a thing of the past..He would no longer break into a delightful glee when someone mentioned NASA and Black Holes..rather it was a quick ponder..a fleeting thought of bygone years..High School came and he was gripped by the fiery phenomenon of entrance exam..Talk of the time was that those who come out of entrance institutes were never the same. à la a Guantanamo Bay..or that was the impression the kid got...The kid with his pubescent mustache and his bacpack(Backpacks handle way more books than ur regular run-of-the-mill variety school bags) was ever apprehensive of everything..Suddenly gaining an admission into the prestigious IITs was the way.Everything else became trivial issues...It was the path.The sole meaningful goal..A Larger-than-Life,One shot affair..Attainment(read Gaining admission into an IIT) would mean Nirvana.....


Nirvana?????

Hey at least the kid could brag in front of his friends and narrate fantastic stories.Fantastic how??No idea...They are supposed to be the coolest colleges to study.What people meant by cool was entirely subjective(unbeknownst to the kid)..

Eat,Drink,Breathe IIT..So what would the kid stand to gain if he went to IIT..hmmm.....what are the other colleges other than IITs..were they any good?he had heard about some local colleges near his native town.But they were those colleges a kid preparing for the IIT JEE exam would scoff at and patronize at the first chance.Would he ever go there?Good gracious No!!they weren't the type his kind would mix with..He couldn't stoop that low.Nobody bothered to tell the kid that none of the ambanis or tatas had gone to IITs and no one concocted the Success Potion there.No one explained to him why they always thought that your future was secure if you went to an IIT(Again "Securing my future" thing could not be characterized by a single event in my life.There were tons of things out equally important!Take even Marriage!Moving On.)hmm..Thinking about IITs the kid used to wonder how many iits there were there anyway..Now this was the pre-wikipedia era and you can't ever ever ask anyone questions like that especially when you are masquerading as a serious IIT aspirant!A question like that and you would be shunned..

2years are nearly over..His friends had applied for numerous entrance exams which would essentially mean an all India tour sponsored by their doting parents..Well the kid never questioned anything.Coaching Institutes weren't just part of an academic revolution that was sweeping all 16year olds across country.They were instrumental in the formation of a child's psyche..For the good or the bad was a different question.The voracious book reading of yesteryear  became virtually non existent.The innocent kid in course realized that he couldn't handle all this competition and he had a growing fear that he was becoming one of those glorious little brats churned out every year thanks to the coaching institutes(the type of person for whom friends were purely maintained for academic interests).Of course,..Sure the kid didn't have many friends but he wasn't going to let go of the few good things he had in life and make himself what he would never want to be.A small sense of independence and a streak of individuality emerges in the little kid.He quits from the 2 year course halfway through and realises itz enough for him..Coaching was doing more bad than good and there was no point at all in continuing(anyway for him)..He decides he will strike it alone.His friends wonder why he quitted.Along came the smirks and jabs that at times were too painful from the "Wellwishers" who ironically werent so well wishing...People wrote him off and commented on how his life would become miserable and wondered how in the world he would ever get a decent rank in any entrance exam...Holding off painful remarks and the never ending feeling of falling into an even bigger disaster was harder than studying itself ..But he loved what he studied..he loved to study alone..to find out new things..not to be spoon fed as was done in the coaching institutes with their ready to gobble MCQs(to the uninitiated Multiple Choice Questions).He loved what he studied..a feeling he wished he could have experienced a lot earlier to beign with..At the end of the two years,he starts hearing about these NITs that are supposed to be good.They said it wasn't as good as the IITs but they weren't bad either.They were like the fallback plan for those serious IIT aspirants who didn't make the cut..

D-Day-April 6th 2007-The IIT JEE exam.the kid..well he didn't make the cut..Devastated and dazed by the aftermath..Life before the IIT JEE and Life after it,as he called it..were truly different..Then came the AIEEE exams for the NITs..The kid didn't give a shit.I mean for the kid,his dreams were shattered already(The logic was flawed obviously.If U get screwed up once,u don't ready up your ass to be screwed again!!U jump at the next oppurtunity to get out.But then again life is so so crazy!!).As expected he didn't get the branch he wanted in NITC..To this day the kid wonders whether he would have received a good rank if he hadn't been on the self destructive phase then..But that's the thing about life..u can regret all the mistakes u did,but u can never ever revert back..the next best option you are given is to rectify your mistakes....i.e if you are lucky..Somehow sense prevails and (God's mercy obviously) when the Kerala Entrance comes up and this time he keeps his concerns aside and writes the exam with absolutely no thought in his mind..Finally the results came out..He didn't ace it..But he could get admission in any stream in any college he wanted..But funnily enough he was disappointed when he saw his rank,even though his father applauded him..He didnt think it was a big deal.His reaction probably could be summed up by the 2 words "yeah,whatever".Left in an awkward place and forced to go to a college he never even imagined of going to,he joined College Of Engineering Trivandrum,Grimly reminding himself of the forever elusive world of IITs.He had lost his purpose and aim.Just when life seemed to pick up itz normal pace..there came the girl..and that girl changed everything for years..

Funny it is..how silly all this entrance fiasco ...An entire blogpost dedicated to the story of a kid focussing primarily on entrance..The kid's life was just starting to lifting off and the kid was almost ready to abandon ship..Looking back Entrance wasn't everything.It was one thing.But everyone around seemed to have blown it out of proportion.There were countless of things that should have been in this blog post..like first tour,first crush,first fight,first major embarrassment..Silly ain't it..Read on to the next blog post to read the rest of the story when things take a u-turn!

Comments

Renjan said…
I just happened to stumble upon your blog(actually, no, I had a vague remembrance you kept a blog, did a little search).
Nice post. Really reminiscent of those pre-college days.
I didn't know you quit the entrance classes half way through. Blessed are the ones that were never taken for the holocaust, and I was one!
Btw, what are you up to Danny?
Danny said…
Well i am in chennai now..Well everything else about me is in the blogpost..Well not everything:-)

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