A Different Perspective (Alternate Title: Acknowledging my long lost creation!)


A bit of background on this post. This is what I call an orphaned post. I wrote this once but didn't have the guts/temperament to actually publish it because I didn't think I was ready to take on this topic. Hence Orphaned. The word "Orphan" in fact describes this blog post quite well(i.e it is an abandonment of something I created because I wasn't ready to consider it my creation. Hence the Alternate title in the heading!). I know I am not very politically correct in using the word Orphaned but whatever. It's just a blog post. Don't get your panties in a twist. The good thing is nearly 6 years later, I dusted this post of my evernote account hidden in one of the archives inside. And I think this post makes for an interesting read for me because 
a)It's always fun to read what you thought of life years ago. I was pretty agitated and belligerent back then. I think I have mellowed down over the years. Age has finally caught up on me! b) I still agree to a lot of these things that I wrote but I realise there is much more to the stuff than what I wrote here. It's not really a Black or White scenario. Always Shades of Grey. Happy reading!

So yeah this one too is about love, so if you are so much as bored by the last one, I don't know if you would be interested in this one. But like I said this is a different perspective, one that I have grown to accept. Hope you find this article informative and well not boring!!That’s the whole point ain’t it!

To all the blog readers, I am from India. Since I assume most of my readers are from India, I will skip the part where i say India is Mystical, Unraveling Karma and all that stuff that westerners fall for. In India in contrast to the western world (yeah pretty much!!), our parents (still!!)have a huge say in the decision of choosing our life partners. Explaining to someone outside India how it’s like to have your parents decide who is going to be your spouse can be pretty funny! I mean the “Pennukanal”tradition(The Bride choosing custom in Kerala) which we have in Kerala is one for which some ingenious Malayalees have created parallels with .They explain to people outside India that it’s like a blind date! You don’t know the girl, she does not know you! Only the ones who hook u up know what you guys are like. To a western guy, how cool would that be! Your parents are setting you up on a blind date!!And you can be pretty sure it’s a pretty girl! Pretty girl...check! However we Malayalis (Keralites) tend to skip off the exact details of the tradition, specially the uncool parts! Such as No one night stands, no flirting, you can’t have the ‘moment’ no matter what happens, no nothing! And it’s a very straight forward process. Family Compatibility, Financials, Background Checks (Oh yeah!!).Everything you expect of an Ideal Matchmaker. The Process is smooth except perhaps that the matchmaker wouldn’t like you doing other dates simultaneously!! And when it means “doesn’t like” that should be taken in the superlative sense!!

Now, I have friends who are in the West and in the US.I am not speaking about NRIs. I met most of them through FB and SL (Second Life or SL is an online virtual world where you can create virtual Avatars, sort of like an MMORPG if you are into gaming).But my point is they have an entirely different system when it’s about Love & Marriage. Love is a really special and carefully used word. You don’t say you love a man or a woman right after you see them for the first time. You like a person & you go out on a date with them. See how things go and keep having dates till you’re ready to take the relationship to the next level. Probably moving together. And after giving a lot of thought to what your heart and your brain (mostly the heart!)says, you pluck up the courage to propose. Now here is another part where it’s different in India. I guess it must be a natural evolution because societal restrictions traditionally prohibited us from having any sort of dates. We skip off the parts where you go on dates and so it's mostly kind of a rendezvous thing... And when you think the moment is right, you say the three most beautiful words (If you are still too dumb to figure what those three words are, it’s “I love you”). Now, I must make you aware of the dangers that lie ahead for those who are ready to say them. For a Guy watch out for

1. Girls who are afraid to be committed but are ready to be friends and make you do all kinds of crazy things and jump you through hoops and relish it when you finally get crazy. You can recognize these girls when any attempts on getting out their feelings towards you results in these or similarly worded replies “But you are my best friend yaar!” Best friend my ass! How complicated can love get!

2. The girls who make you think they are this close to saying yes. But believe me they are just fucking with you! You won’t get a No let alone a Yes from them.

3. Girls who are bounded and sometimes blinded by societal restrictions. It’s interesting to note that they had no problems talking for long hours with you before you said you liked them. Note that long hours talking to a girl does indicate she is interested in you but that does not make it unambiguous whether she will walk down the aisle for you.Oh no!

4. Girls who make the stupidest reasons not to be with you. Situations such as the girl being older than you by a couple of months (But when it’s the right person, his/her age will never be an issue!!), you are too good for her, she is not good enough for you. Even astrological compatibility! Oh yeah! Wasted a lot of time on something I didn’t even really believe. Surfing all those hokum astrology websites to find a “match of above 90%”.Please note that if you input “shit my pants” and “in your face” as names of you and your significant other, there is a good probability that it is declared as a good match. The last statement speaks my point. Don’t Waste time on them.

For the Girls watch out for

1. Guys who basically want to get into your pants.
Honestly speaking all of us guys do want to get in a girl’s pants. We can’t help it.We are wired biologically that way. But not being very subtle in that is not the way to go!

2. The perverts who think girls are like tissue paper. Use them and throw them away. Refrain from talking to such idiots.You will never make them see sense. Only time will make them see the sad lives they wasted and the lives they could have had.

3. Guys who will never make a commitment. Once again don’t waste time.

4. Gays (Obviously!)

Over time I realised I have to be honest with myself. My little philosophies in life which include but not limited to
a).There is no such thing as a free lunch. If they claim it is, look for the fine print and you will realise it’s not really a free lunch after all.

b).Be wary of the smooth talkers. The ones who say they can get things done without a hitch. Usually they are lying to your face and will screw you up. But there are exceptions too. Like I said be wary of such people because they could ditch you in a second for better gains elsewhere.

c).It is pretty much obvious when another person hits on you. So if you are not interested just drop big hints. If that doesn’t work just say it out. You do not want a stalker.

d).Don’t give out too many advices such as these. Hmm..How Ironical!



Charlie David said…
Haha. Totally loved it. Could relate with many parts lmfao. Uve certainly ranted and trampled all sensibilities (people will b offended m sure). But agree with this completely! Straight from d heart and a guy's perspective. Would love a girls perspective as well!

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